That cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sh!t Beacon Journal has never published a Zips article 1/10th this good:
Hallelujah! Holy Sh!t! Where's the Tylenol?!