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'Twas the Night Before Christmas - Zip Style


johnnyzip84

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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through ZipsnationNot a ‘puter was stirring, not e'en a Playstation;The posts were all hung on each new thread with care,In hopes that the moderators would not strip them bare;And KD was nestled all snug in his bed,While visions of tournaments danced in his head;And Zippy in sweater, and I in my cap,Were jogging around the JAR for a lap,When far beyond Carroll there arose such a clatter,We sprang from the track to see what was the matter.Away to the circle I flew like a Zip, Jumped over some hedges and banged up my hip.The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snowGave the lustre of Zip-Fest to objects below,When, what to my wondering eyes should unfold,But a beautiful field, no light poles to behold,With a lush brick facade, and no grass to mow,I knew in a moment it was the INFO.More splendid than all in this quirky conf’rence,I named them aloud as I leapt o’er a fence;"There’s, Yager! there’s, Peden! there’s, UB and Dix and!The Glass Bowl, Doyt-Perry! all suited for Blitzin’!Rynearson and Scheumann, Waldo and the Link!Huskie, Kelly Shorts and that’s it, I think!"As dry leaves that within the December breeze fly,When they waft the odor of football to the sky,So up to top of the press box I flew,With BuckZip, SeeTee and Cap’n Kangaroo.And then, in a twinkling, I saw in my headthe end of Zip losing and seasons of dread.And I drew in my hand, a most stunning portraitof MAC crowns in Akron for 7 years straight.JD dressed in fur, from his head to his foot,And his clothes were all swollen with jewelry and loot;A bundle of trophies he flung on his back,And he looked like they proclaimed him King of the MAC.His line -- how they guarded! his QB how merry!His wide-outs caught plenty, e’en more than Matt Cherry!His halfbacks were tough, his returners could go!As they sped down the sidelines, they looked like Pat Snow;His defense was mean, they could knock out your teeth,When they tackled their arms held their foes like a wreath;They had a large line and their backers were smelly,A secondary to none, not e’en Brian Kelly.JD stood tall with pride, a right jolly head coach,A confident stare, beyond all reproach.A wink of his eye and a nod of his head,Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;He spoke not a word, but I knew right away,That this place would be filled, on each Fall Saturday,With Zip fans aplenty, exhorting the team,Then JD glanced over to finish my dream;He sprang to his legs, to his team gave a whistle,And away the Zips ran like the down of a thistle.But I heard him exclaim, ‘fore he fizzled from sight,"Happy Christmas to all, and to all Zips good-night."

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@ the OP...just curious...how long did it take you to think of that?
The idea popped into my goofy head about 3 days ago, and I've added a little here and there ever since. If this isn't proof of my "terminal Zip sickness", I'm not sure what is!
lol if that's not dedication then I don't know what is.
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  • 7 years later...

Inspired by recent events, I decided to update this for 2015:

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Zipsnation

Not a ‘puter was stirring, not e'en a Playstation;

The posts were all hung on each new thread with care,

In hopes that the moderators would not strip them bare;

And KD was nestled all snug in his bed,

While visions of tournaments danced in his head;

And Zippy in sweater, and I in my cap,

Were jogging around the JAR for a lap,

When far beyond Carroll there arose such a clatter,

We sprang from the track to see what was the matter.

Away to the circle I flew like a Zip,

Jumped over some hedges and banged up my hip.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of Lot 9 to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should unfold,

But a beautiful field, no light poles to behold,

With a lush brick facade, and no grass to mow,

I knew in a moment it was the INFO.

More splendid than all in this quirky conf’rence,

I named them aloud as I leapt o’er a fence;

"There’s, Yager! there’s, Peden! There's UB and Dix and!

The Glass Bowl, Doyt-Perry! all suited for Blitzin'!

Rynearson and Scheumann, Waldo in K-Zoo!

Huskie, Kelly Shorts, now I think I am through."

As dry leaves that within the December breeze fly,

When they waft the scent of football to the sky,

So up to top of the press box I flew,

With Keener, ZipsWin! and Cap’n Kangaroo.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw in my head

the end of Zip losing and seasons of dread.

And I drew in my hand, a most stunning portrait

of Bowl vict'ries for Akron for 7 years straight.

TB dressed in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all swollen with jewelry and loot;

A bundle of trophies he flung on his back,

And he looked like they proclaimed him King of the MAC.

His line -- how they guarded! his QB how merry!

His wide-outs caught plenty, e’en more than Matt Cherry!

His halfbacks were tough, his returners could go!

As they sped down the sidelines, they looked like Pat Snow;

His defense was mean, taught by Coach Chuck the Chest,

Of his players, Jatavis was clearly the best;

They had a large line, lead by Cody and Coe,

A progrum unmatched, not e'en by State-O.

TB stood with pride, a dadgum jolly coach,

A confident stare, beyond all reproach.

A wink of his eye and a nod of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but I knew right away,

That this place would be filled, on each Fall Saturday,

With Zip fans aplenty, exhorting the team,

Then TB glanced over to finish my dream;

He sprang to his legs, to his team gave a whistle,

And away the Zips ran like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘fore he fizzled from sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all Zips good-night." :wave:

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