"Roo-screwed"

[urstoff]

To whomever may gain a bit of solace or amusement from this proposed entry into Wikipedia. Feel free to pass it along (with attribution, of course). The following entry into the online encyclopedia Wikipedia apparently didn't meet with the organization's computerized entry approval system, as it was removed within minutes of its posting. It's the Wikipedia article about The University of Akron that you'll never read online--at least on the Wikipedia site. Enjoy: "Roo-Screwed" From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia "Roo-screwed" is the phrase coined by University of Akron alumnus and amateur lexicographer Matthew A. Williams to describe the process by which a member school of the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) is denied a bid in the NCAA and/or NIT Tournament(s) in such a manner as to defy all reason and logic. When a team is so maligned by the committee(s) as to be denied its just due for a fine season, in spite of overwhelming evidence that the team's inclusion in the tournament(s) cannot reasonably be rebutted by an objective, knowledgeable, and dispassionate third-party observer, then the team may be said to have been "Roo-screwed". The need for such a term emerged out of the 2007 denial of the extension of a bid to The University of Akron men's basketball team to either of the NCAA or the NIT Tournaments despite a 26-7 regular season record, an RPI of 67, and a last-second controversial loss to Miami of Ohio that prevented The University of Akron from securing an automatic bid to the NCAA tournament. While it is understandable that The University of Akron found itself shut out of the NCAA tournament, it defies reason that they were not counted among the remaining top 32 teams in the country eligible to receive a bid to the lesser NIT Tournament. It is such incomprehensibility that demands the invention of a new term or phrase through which disaffected fans and observers of collegiate athletics might communicate their disbelief. Since the mascot of The University of Akron is a kangaroo, affectionately known as "Roo", it has been conjoined with the brusque colloquialism "screwed" to arrive at the term "Roo-screwed". Simple fan dissatisfaction with the preclusion of their team from the tournament(s) is insufficient, alone, to warrant the use of the term. The term should be reserved for the most severe instances where a decision of the selection committee(s) is reckless to such an extent as to be as indefensible as arguments that the earth is flat or that maggots come from meat. Those who are knowledgeable about the mating habits of kangaroos find the term particularly apropos, if not also a bit curious. As such, there is of yet some controversy over whether the term might be considered an instance of "onomatopoeia"--which, despite its linguistic obscurity, does appear in Wikipedia (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onomatopoeia). This serves to fan rumors regarding the influence of the selection committee members over such banal arenas of popular culture as encyclopedic knowledge (or the censorship thereof) and fair competition among deserving collegiate athletic teams (or, again, the censorship thereof). While it may be a bit of an overstatement to conclude that the selection process is motivated purely by money, it is more improbable to conclude that such decisions as warrant the use of the term "Roo-Screwed" are predicated on rationally articulable bases. If this were the case, one might expect such attempts to be made in the immediate wake any such of decisions meriting the use of the term. When no such attempts are exercised through any sort of meaningful public statement from the selection committee delineating the rationale for their decision within a reasonable period of time (generally, five minutes or so after the announcement of said decision), and taken in consideration with the whole of the foregoing circumstances, then the use of the term "Roo-screwed" is appropriate, if perhaps not for children. By Matthew A. Williams

[BZip_08]

That is awesome. Wiki is too much fun sometimes.

[zippyrifle32]

you should add the screwing of being left out of a bowl game in 2004 and the shitty seeding we got for mens soccer last year after being ranked #1 in the country for a month.

[w00t]

and the shitty seeding we got for mens soccer last year after being ranked #1 in the country for a month.

That was two years ago... last year we were snubbed altogether by the soccer selection committee.

[zippyrifle32]

ah... sorry, i considered it this year because it was this school year. either way this/next season

[skip-zip]

I love your idea, and the detailed definition. It certainly fits. There is a certain need for such a term right now.