Los Venerables

That's what they said about UW beating LSU.

He can exhibit a certain youthful exuberance at times.

What's the cutoff for Senior Zippy? With the game looming on the horizon, I may have to drastically up my posting frequency.

Oh, how I love statistics. 19 yards per catch sounds impressive. 3 catches, for 42, 9, and 6 yards and no TDs doesn't sound quite as impressive.

Ahmad doesn't play for us anymore.

The reason for that is that MAC stadiums are small, sad places that can't possibly generate enough revenue to warrant a trip. Zero percent would make more sense. Besides, your school seems content renting themselves out as glorified scrimmage opponents. We'll leave your money on the side table, be quiet on your way out.

The O/U is 45. Are you going to gloat if the Badgers win 42-0?

Didn't miss it. Not impressed. Big 10 is (271-49-2) against MAC Average score: Big 10 33.5 - MAC 15.0 Per decade W L T Win % PFPG PAPG 2010's 64 14 0 82.1 36.2 16.5 2000's 110 17 0 86.6 34.4 17.3 1990's 46 6 0 88.5 35.9 12.5 1980's 27 2 0 93.1 30.6 11.5 1970's 14 5 1 72.5 22.4 10.1 1960's 6 3 1 65.0 27.3 10.8 1950's 4 2 0 66.7 18.7 10.0 Badgers are 32-2, both losses (to WMU and NIU) coming in the absolute nadir of the program, 1988. Indiana is 35-9-1 Purdue is 42-12-1 Minnesota is 30-4-1 Any of these three teams would be perennial favorites for the conference championship if they were in the MAC

You can read it any way you'd like, but you should know that I grew up much, much closer to Akron than to Wisconsin.

Make sure you tell your team's bus driver to go WEST when he's leaving the parking lot. I don't want you guys to miss the game since you still think you're playing Pitt.

I didn't say anything about the MAC. We're playing Akron, so I was talking about Akron when I said "Bucky plays against a higher level of talent even among Big Ten bottom-feeders." But since you brought it up, I think if team the calibre of a Purdue or an Indiana or a Minnesota were in the MAC they'd be odds-on favorite to win the division most years.

Were any of those MAC teams named Akron? Spoiler alert: No. Akron has never beaten a Big Ten team. I think I previously mentioned your 1894 victory over OSU, but technically that came before the Big Ten was founded the following year.

LOL. Enjoy it, it's going to be the easiest score a Zip gets all weekend.

I have so many people to thank...

Hey, I made Junior Zippy! What do I win?

<checks schedule, doesn't see Western Michigan> Whew!

You've informed me where you think your talent lies, and I've done my best to alleviate myself of ignorance regarding them. Problem is, I can't find any objective information that would lead me to believe that it creates any more of a matchup problem than we'd typically face against a lower-echelon Big Ten team (if that). Lane's measurables make him look like a formidable target at WR, but I can't find any evidence that he did anything of note against anyone with a pulse. Ditto Ball. Same goes for Woodson. His 2015 QB rating is almost identical to our QB last season and half the fans wanted him run out of town. That said, he seems mediocre in a different way. He doesn't throw many picks, but his completion percentage is far worse. That's actually better from my perspective as the Badgers aren't especially adept at interceptions. Sounds like your OL is better than it has been in a while. My perspective is, since the Alabama game to start last season I've watched our D (front 7 specifically) confuse and overwhelm OLs from teams with 4 and 5 star recruits, future NFLers, you name it. We lost one guy from last year's front 7 and it's tbd whether they take a step back, but week one results were very promising, especially factoring in a key injury at ILB. Playing against an offense that plays at a faster pace isn't something they've seen a ton, but you'd better score on a high percentage of possessions, cause your defense will wear down if they're on the field as much as I expect. I'm not a fetishist for recruiting rankings, but in aggregate they do generally hold true in terms of evaluating success in college. Same goes for NFL draft. 80% of NFL players come from the P5 conferences. In reality, there are three categories of D-1 football. FCS, G5 and P5. The latter two just haven't been split apart yet, but I believe it's coming. Based on recruiting and draft metrics, Bucky plays against a higher level of talent even among Big Ten bottom-feeders. Current bottom-feeder of note, Purdue (UW has beaten them the past 10 times going back to 2004) has put 17 players in the NFL over the past ten years. Joke-of-a-conference-member, Rutgers has had 23 players drafted in that time. These are teams that we routinely embarrass. Minnesota, who we've beaten for the past 12 years straight has had 10 draft picks in ten years. Akron has had 2 draft picks in that time, and none since 2008. So when you tell me that we're in trouble because this guy or that had a good game against VMI, or Kent State, or Eastern Michigan, I'm sorry, I just don't find it that persuasive. For every "close call" against a P5 team you can dredge up, I can find a dozen curb-stompings. But hey, crap happens. Have fun in Madison and good luck!

Possums? I would never root for a ridiculous marsupial.

I know. Ridiculous, right? Everyone who follows college football knows we'll have to beat the nobodies in the first round of the playoffs before we meet in the championship game.

I called my contacts in Las Vegas and described the circumstances of your thrilling 21-3 loss to Penn State. Expect the line to narrow shortly.

It would seem to me to be more huge (huger?). UW is 4-4 against the SEC over the past decade, so it's not quite the oddity you make it out to be.

I'm not surprised, what with the harsh over-moderation I'm enduring. Persevering might be a better description, actually. Over an hour to approve my cordial, substantive post?

Yes, I suggest you eat food and drink alcoholic beverages. Some people like to play corn hole or toss around a football. Other options are to read this thread.

Thank you for your cordial reply to my cordial post. If there's one thing we Badgers appreciate, it's cordiality. I will now substantively address your point regarding Chryst's record at Pitt: Pitt sucks and you're not playing Pitt. P.S. Your "little brother" is an FCS team? Can't you find a little brother in FBS? crap, our little brother is a P5 school. What about Kent State? <checks recent record against Kent State> OK, forget about Kent State. Hey, there's always Bowling Green! <checks record> Sigh. Toledo? <checks> Damn. Good thing there are so many teams in Ohio. Who's next, Ohio? <checks> Ugh. Miami? <checks> Hey, a three-game winning streak! Hmm, but a sub-.0.333 overall record. Wait, I've got a great idea, why don't we share our little brother with you? I noticed that you've never played Minnesota. You get to claim a FBS little brother and we get to laugh (more) at Minnesota. It's a win-win! Trust me anyone can beat Minnesota! Just ask any of the Dakota FCS schools.

Thank you for the suggestion. I've reviewed your losses to Penn State and Michigan, both coming in down years for those teams. In the interest of thoroughness, I've also reviewed your lone victory over a Big Ten team, Ohio State in 1894. I guess I'm not seeing the significance of your suggestion.