Christmas Wish for Akron

[Guest Zip88]

Since this will be the final C.O.W. until after the bowls (unless I can come up with any witty banter before then), here's a Christmas list of what I'd like to get each of the 117 D-I teams this year.

To ... Air Force: A beefy defensive lineman to finally stop someone's running game ... Akron: More respect from the bowls considering Marshall is in and you aren't. ... Alabama: A trip in the Mr. Peabody way-back machine to tell head coach Mike Shula to take Brodie Croyle out early against Western Carolina. ... Arizona: the ability to score on anyone other than Arizona State ... Arizona State: QB Sam Keller to be as good next year as he was at the end of the Arizona loss. ... Arkansas: A player as exciting as Matt Jones again in the foreseeable future. ... Arkansas State: Stickum to stop giving the ball away so much. ... Army: One, lone, defensive stop. ... Auburn: A four-team playoff in the 2004 BCS. ... Ball State: A defensive back who can make a big play on third downs. ... Baylor: Everyone else in the Big XII South to get a little bit worse. ... Boise State: More honest shots at playing against the big boys. ... Boston College: A redo against Syracuse with a healthy Paul Peterson. ... Bowling Green: To have gotten a shot at Northern Illinois later in the year and to have played Toledo with the MAC West title on the line for you. ... BYU: More of a consistent rushing game and for Utah to go back to being Utah. ... Buffalo: For a season with an exciting offense. ... California: Jeff Tedford to be in Berkeley throughout the life of his contract. ... Central Michigan: One more overtime against Eastern Michigan. ... Cincinnati: Stairs with better traction. ... Clemson: A good escape clause on Tommy Bowden's contract if 2005 starts like 2004. ... Colorado: Single bills. ... Colorado State: Linebackers. ... Connecticut: That the steady progression started when the program entered D-I continues. ... Duke: For every ACC team to take Duke week lightly. ... East Carolina: A coaching staff that can last more than a year and a half. ... Eastern Michigan: Just a smidge of defense. ... Florida: That Urban continues to be a master of winning with someone else's recruits. ... Florida State: Just one straight kick in the final minutes against Miami. ... Fresno State: One decent performance against Boise State. ... Georgia: A team that always plays up to its NFL talent level. ... Georgia Tech: A quarterback who makes more big plays than mistakes. ... Hawaii: The ability to pretend that all road games are being played in Aloha Stadium. ... Houston: Kevin Kolb to stay healthy for the next two years. ... Idaho: Michael Harrington to play like the college version of his brother, not the pro. ... Illinois: For head coach Ron Zook recruit at least half as well as he did at Florida. ... Indiana: For everyone to realize that it's not a basketball school anymore. ... Iowa: A healthy running back. ... Iowa State: Better overtime play calling. ... Kansas: A healthy quarterback for a full season. ... Kansas State: A different colored half turtleneck for Bill Snyder. ... Can't State: A player half as exciting as Joshua Cribbs was. ... Kentucky: A wakeup call on the Rich Brooks era. ... UL Lafayette: The right to be known only as Louisiana. ... UL Monroe: The right to be known only as Louisiana. ... Louisiana Tech: For Ryan Moats to not turn pro early. ... Louisville: The second half of the Miami game back. ... LSU: The NFL to lose interest in Nick Saban. ... Marshall: The 2003 defense and the pre-2003 offense in the same season. ... Maryland: More than two touchdowns in a game. ... Memphis: DeAngelo Williams to stay for his senior season. ... Miami ... Kyle Wright to be a really, really big deal. ... Miami University: For everyone to stop calling it Miami of Ohio. ... Michigan: For 2004 to have been the worst seasons in Chad Henne and Mike Hart's Michigan careers. ... Michigan State: A healthy Drew Stanton for a full season. ... MTSU: Another playmaker like Kerry Wright. ... Minnesota: 57-minute Michigan games. ... Ole MIss: Randy Shannon. ... Mississippi State: To maintain the emotion and fire of Sylvester Croom's rookie season when more talented players arrive. ... Missouri: A key to take the shackles off of Brad Smith. ... Navy: Another Kyle Eckel. ... Nebraska: A drive without an interception. ... Nevada: More consistent Air to the Air Wolf. ... New Mexico: A win over a Pac 10 team. ... New Mexico State: Better luck in close WAC games than it had in close Sun Belt games. ... North Carolina: A run defense and another Darian Durant. ... North Carolina State: No more turnovers for touchdowns and just a smidge of offense to match the defense. ... North Texas: Jamario Thomas and Patrick Cobbs to play in the same backfield (and notice for Thomas from the Doak Walker people). ... Northern Illinois: A win over Toledo. ... Northwestern: Some national respect for its running backs. ... Notre Dame: Charlie Weis to be the next Ralph Friedgen. ... Ohio: More consistent offense and another solid year from the D. ... Ohio State: Maurice Clarett to get drafted already. ... Oklahoma: All early NFL entry rules and laws to remain rock solid for at least another year. ... Oklahoma State: The Woods family to keep cranking out sons. ... Oregon: A wee bit of self-consciousness when it comes to wearing bright yellow. ... Oregon State: A running game to help out Mike Hass. ... Penn State: A quarterback who can consistently throw and a receiver who can catch. ... Pittsburgh: For the administration to be happy with its head football coach. ... Purdue: To get the late fumbles against Wisconsin and Michigan back. ... Rice: To be able to combine the end of the 2003 season with the beginning of 2004. ... Rutgers: The ability to build on a little bit of momentum. ... San Diego State: The 2002 offense to combine with the 2003 and 2004 defenses. ... San Jose State: The ability to recruit and develop four-year players. ... South Carolina: The 1995 Steve Spurrier and not the 2003 model. ... South Florida: Another Gramatica brother. ... SMU: To play as well to start 2005 as it played to end 2004. ... Southern Miss: To keep getting anyone, anywhere, anytime. ... Stanford: Walt Harris to have the same success he had at Pittsburgh. ... Syracuse: For the Orange to always play with the same fire and execution it found against Boston College. ... TCU: Last year's defense exchanged for the preview models. ... Temple: QB Walter Washington to get a little bit of help and more national recognition. ... Tennessee: Good health for Erik Ainge and Brent Schaeffer for a full season. ... Texas: One Red River Rivalry game where Oklahoma plays like Texas. ... Texas A&M: Baylor to kick another extra points. ... Texas Tech: A fraction of a second longer for its quarterbacks. ... Toledo: The same fire in every game it finds in second halves of important MAC games. ... Troy: An offense half as good as its defense. ... Tulane: The young stars on the offense play like they did at the end of the year (except for the Louisville game). ... Tulsa: Kickoffs always going to Ashlan Davis. ... UAB: A pass defense as good as its passing attack. ... UCF: Besides a win, for everyone to actually call UCF, UCF (instead of Central Florida). ... UCLA: Just a few of the recruits to USC would normally get. ... UNLV: The athletes John Robinson recruited with better all-around coaching. ... USC: John David Booty to be as good as he was supposed to be in August of 2003. ... Utah: Status quo. ... Utah State: Some semblance of a running game. ... UTEP: To not forget what it was like before Mike Price. ... Vanderbilt: One win in an extremely tight game (Vandy lost five games by five points or fewer). ... Virginia: All of the NFL talent to stick around for one big ACC run. ... Virginia Tech: CFN to put the Hokies eighth again in the 2005 ACC preview. ... Wake Forest: A kick returner (Wake was 116th in punt returns, 106th in kickoffs). ... Washington: Ty Willingham to recruit far better than he did at Notre Dame. ... Washington State: An easy Apple Cup. ... West Virginia: Intensity. ... Western Michigan: Just one defended pass. ... Wisconsin: A chance to play the Michigan State team that played at Penn State and Iowa in Camp Randall. ... Wyoming: The defense to make a few more strides.

[Dr Z]