joshgozips Posted March 4, 2010 Report Share Posted March 4, 2010 Share these with a Golden Flush you might know. In honor of Akron vs CAN'T STATE:Q. What does the average K ent player get on his/her SAT? A. Drool. Q. How many Fla shes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A. One, but he gets 5 credits for it. Q. Why do women at K ent State wear high heels?A. To keep their knuckles from dragging on the ground. Q. What do you tell the KS U cheerleader to pick her up after she smiles at you?A. Nice tooth, babe. Q. What do you say to a Golden Fla sh in a three piece suit?A. Will the defendant please rise. Q. Why do K ent State graduates keep their diplomas on their dashboard?A. So that they can park in handicaped spaces. Q. How do you get a K ent graduate to stop knocking on your door and get off your porch?A. Pay for the pizza. Q. What has 32 legs and two teeth?A. The K ent State dance team A Zips fan, a Golden Fla shes fan, a nun and a stunning blonde are riding on a train. Suddenly the train heads into a tunnel. A loud smack is heard and as the train rides out of the tunnel the Golden Fla shes fan is rubbing his face. The nun thinks: "Serves him right for trying to grab the blonde." The blonde thinks: "Serves him right for trying to grab the nun." The Fla shes fan thinks: "The Zips fan was probably trying to grab the blonde, missed her and grabbed the nun instead. Then she tried to smack him in the face and missed." The Zips fan thinks: "Next tunnel I'm going to smack that stupid Golden Fla shes fan again." A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a graduate of K ent State," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how." A Professor invents an IQ machine that boosts a person's IQ to 300 and then starts counting backward. He connects his wife to it, turns it offat 190, and she starts explaining quantum physics. He tries it out on his brother Bill, turns it off at 175, and Bill starts talking advanced calculus. Then he plugs in his cousin Bob. Just then the phone rings, and it's a telemarketer. By the time he gets back to unplug Bob, the machine is counting down: 14 - 13 - 12. He slams the switch to "off," shakes Bob and screams, "Say something!" and Bob says, "Go K S U!" A K ent State fan was sitting at a table reading the Newspaper, The headline read: "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed." He shook his head at the sad news, then turned to the man sitting next to him and asked, "How many is a Brazilian?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippyrifle32 Posted March 4, 2010 Report Share Posted March 4, 2010 Q. Why do K ent State graduates keep their diplomas on their dashboard?A. So that they can park in handicaped spaces.my favorite by far Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejcool27 Posted March 4, 2010 Report Share Posted March 4, 2010 Q. How many Fla shes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A. One, but he gets 5 credits for it.My personal favorite......that explains the GPA (haha) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDZip Posted March 4, 2010 Report Share Posted March 4, 2010 Q: How do you locate Can't State's campus from Akron?A: Go east until you smell it and then north until you step in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GP1 Posted March 4, 2010 Report Share Posted March 4, 2010 If basketball was a mind game, Can't wouldn't have the right equipment.This topic is "Anyone need a Can't State joke this week?" Aren't they a joke every week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let'sGoZips94 Posted March 4, 2010 Report Share Posted March 4, 2010 Can't State's most famous student... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hafner4430 Posted March 4, 2010 Report Share Posted March 4, 2010 Can't State's most famous student...Dukes is awesome haha. HE WOULD NEVER ROOT FOR Can't! Can't Statecks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let'sGoZips94 Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 There's a Can't State blonde student. She's auditioning for this dumb blonde girl part. The director tells her to do stupid stuff. She fails. The director asks if she is dumber then blonde. The blonde girl says, "Yep. I go to Can't State; it's the new low." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 nail this idiot with his pack of lies and half truths: (Dane did a good job but he needs more)jflush07 Wrote: Let me share some things about Akron:1. They are 4th tier according to US News Rankings, same level as Cleveland State.2. They are open enrollment, means you only need a pulse to get in, Can't is one of 6 schools in the state that have high standards for enrollment, (OU, MIAMI, UC, OSU , Can't, BGSU) 3. Akron along with UC have the highest amount of debt, thanks to their "New Campus" thing. Now they have to do a $500 million campaign to pay it off.4. Akron COPIES Can't in everything, when we hired Carol Cartwright, first lady president in Ohio, Akron hired one months later to be like us, too bad theirs sucked and resigned while our president lasted 13ish years. Can't opened a research park, 2 weeks later, Akron opened one.5. Akron brags about $350 million upgrade to campus, well GUESS WHAT, Can't State is always doing at least $400 million of upgrades to campus at any given time of the year. 6. Can't State campus > Akron's campus...plain and simple.I'll have more as they come...Too bad accuracy isn't your forte. While UA is 4th tier, Can't State is 3rd tier. Not much difference. Akron is 4th tier because it is open enrollment which effects its grad rate. While Can't State has admission standards, they are a hair more than Akron's and are basically negligible. Basically, anyone can get into Can't as well. Enrollment standards at Can't can hardly be described as "high".No university, including Akron has a campaign to pay off debt. Akron made well over its 500 million in its campaign and none of it is permitted to be used to pay off debt. The campaign has been in effect for 2 years and has more than surpassed its goal. It is not one that is yet to happenAnd yes, I'm sure that Akron saw Can't State open a research center and within two weeks and much jealous fervor it got all the planning and bulldozers in line to start theirs.And your comparison between the hiring of Carol Cartwright and Peggy Elliot is as childish and off the wall as the rest of the drivel you post. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------(This post was last modified: Yesterday 07:55 PM by Dane.) Yesterday 07:53 PM Quick EditFull Edit This is on the Can't State site Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quickzips Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 Can't is doing $400 million in campus upgrades at any given time each year? Sounds a lot more expensive than what Akron has done. What exactly are they getting for all of this? I don't travel to Can't all that much, but the few times I've been there I can never remember seeing any construction equipment or any improvements being made anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 Can't is doing $400 million in campus upgrades at any given time each year? Sounds a lot more expensive than what Akron has done. What exactly are they getting for all of this? I don't travel to Can't all that much, but the few times I've been there I can never remember seeing any construction equipment or any improvements being made anywhere.That's because it is not a true statement by our Can't State rabid dog.http://www.ncaabbs.com/showthread.php?tid=...4315#pid5224315 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy_ua_00 Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 Q. What does batman and a Can't State fan have in common?A. Neither can go out at night with out robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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