GP1 Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 For those who think people who travel every week around the country have great lives, please pay attention to the following. This is a risk you take when you fly.Last week, I was on my weekly travels and I had a connection in Chicago. After completing what seemed like a 10 mile march through O’Hare (sp?), I found my gate and boarded my commuter jet. In order to save fuel and money, airlines no longer run the engines of these small planes while at the gate and there is no AC hook up with an external air conditioner like on larger planes. When the engine does not run, the air conditioning does not run making the wait to push back seem an eternity. Unfortunately, I was in the second to last row of this sweat box and I had an empty seat next to me with one person remaining to board. As I sat there, I prayed to God to either send a skinny person to sit next to me, or to end my life in lieu of having to sit next to some large fat sweaty person in this small plane. What came next was a Fantasy Island episode.I looked up to see a young, thin girl walking down the row toward me. She was the answer to my prayers from afar. Skinny is good on a flight like this. The only problem seemed to be a dreadlock hair style, but I figured it was probably just some liberal affirmation for a young girl still in college or graduate school. She also had a little bit too much mustache hair for a girl that young, but that is not important to this story.Anyhow, she sits down next to me and introduces herself as Toole and informs me that she is on her way home from Guatemala where she was learning the culture. OK, kind of weird, but everyone has to do something.While still at the gate, she decides to remove the sweatshirt she was wearing. I noticed that her clothes were kind of dirty, but I’m kind of out of touch with what young people in college wear now so I think the dirty clothes are just the style. Upon removal of the sweatshirt, I was witness to the worst armpit hair and body odor I have ever smelled on a single person in public. Toole smelled so bad my eyes were burning by the time the hour long flight was over. Not only did she have hairy armpits, but here legs were equally hairy. I'm pretty certain Toole did not take a bath her entire time in Guatemala.In addition to her poor grooming and hygiene, Toole decided to entertain me with stories of her trip to Guatemala. It was an interesting discussion for the hour long flight. You guys know the debate….the Guatemalan people are either beautiful, peaceful, indigenous people living in nature OR they are dirty savages living in the land that time forgot with only death to look forward to. I’d bet a lot of money you guys know me well enough to know which side of this debate I came down on. Anyhow, the flight ended and I learned my lesson about wishing for things…..just like on Fantasy Island. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Z Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 A girl on a plane told me she wasn't very good at Div I NCAA Xbox football, so she plays this one instead:New game for Div I challenged Xbox players Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Kangaroo Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Sure her name wasn't sToole? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GP1 Posted May 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Sure her name wasn't sToole? Perhaps....there were a lot of different smells and it was hard to distinguish between each. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zip37 Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Hey GP1, you've heard the joke about the European Olympic teams charge that the US teams were using performance enhancing drugs whiel at the Games. There was a big investigation and the Committee found that the Americans were indeed using "funny" stuff; stuff the Europeans had never seen before. deodorant, toothpaste, and toothbrushes!(All except our cousins from the UK).With ball ammunition lock and load. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GP1 Posted May 31, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Hey GP1, you've heard the joke about the European Olympic teams charge that the US teams were using performance enhancing drugs whiel at the Games. There was a big investigation and the Committee found that the Americans were indeed using "funny" stuff; stuff the Europeans had never seen before. deodorant, toothpaste, and toothbrushes!(All except our cousins from the UK).With ball ammunition lock and load. Nice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zip Watcher Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Thank you for a good post & a nice read. ... in the middle of a hell week, that was a welcome distraction.Great post.P.S. I gotta love the mini-jets for the speed of unloading & loading, with the same flight time as the big boys, but you gotta be on a CO ERJ in seat A to be sure to be Toole-proof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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