I think Dan Hipsher should keep his job because:
#10. His players play H-A-R-D for him. Never an ounce of quit.
#9. Stellar player retention...hardly ever see a kid drop out! *cough*
#8. Stellar academic record...*cough Sims*, *cough E Smith*, *cough Courtney Jones* *cough Preston*, *cough etc*
#7. The way his team responds after time-outs...never a turnover or a bad shot!
#6. Who else could get 38 minutes per game out of a guy with the mobility of Frankenstein?
#5. 20 win seasons are overrated!
#4. MAC Tourney wins are overrated!
#3. Playing in a 30% full JAR provides an intimate setting for you and your date.
#2. If he gets fired...we could lose Bryan Hipsher to Can't (transfer)!!
And the #1 reason Dan Hipsher should keep his job...*drum roll*.....
F-bombs, F-bombs, F-bombs! :o