Captain Kangaroo

Do you know how to catch a unique bird?

Some visitors had a good UA Game Day

Or the new dance team outfits?

I wish we had a Winters' offense last Saturday.

I know what's in the box. I hear the UA Physics Department developed a new radar-based sensor that detects potential helmet-to-helmet impacts 1.2 seconds before the occur. Each defensive player wears a dog collar with a capacitive discharge device that's triggered by the sensor. Once triggered the electrical burst temporarily stuns the defender, who slumps towards the turf in a lower, legal tackling position. You'll see them everywhere in a few weeks. Pure genius. I wish I'd have thought of it.

I say, "Yes." We all remember Rob Ianello's swirling 2-year ride down the toilet initiated when Garner Webb pulled the InfoCision commode handle. I see the JMU game being a similar flush-or-float game for Terry's boys. Dropping to a 1-13 career mark at UA would be bad enough. But doing so to a 1-AA school, at home, would plunge up some bad memories. And produce a cesspool of embarrassing local and national press. JMU is a legit 1-AA playoff team. The Zips are a legit 1-A doormat. But at some point the doormat needs to turn the corner. A win vs. JMU won't send the drunken Bulger Hall faithful sprinting naked up and down Exchange Street with giant novelty foam fingers. But a loss, be it by 1 point, or 30 points would be absolute Program Napalm. Lot 9 would look like Bhopal (but with trendy microbrew empties strewn about instead of Aam Panna and chai tea). I'm still coughing up chunks of lung from Ianello's Agent Orange campaign...I know I wouldn't survive. Bowden needs to show he can coach. That he can scheme. That he can motivate. He can't play conservative, like @ UCF...like @ K.e.n.t. last season...or he'll lose. At home. To a 1-AA school. Is it fair to make this a "Must Win?" I think so. Sure, there will be 10 games left in the season. The Zips could go on a tear. But I doubt it. The JMU QB was 10-18 last Saturday against The Fighting Yuracheks. Our DB's should be able to deal with that level of QB. I'm told Kyle Pohl is "The Truth." Last week, he was "The False." I want to see the kid who struck some fear into Toledo last year, not the guy doing a dead-nutz-on Clayton Moore impersonation. Chisolm? Dude, you're a Junior. For the first time in your UA career you have competition for your job. Elevate your game. Or the next time you sprint towards the sidelines to avoid contact, you will probably stay there. Zach D-Orazio. If you're healthy, let's see the kid who played at Tennessee. We need him. All you 1-and-done Senior transfers - Dudes...you came here to play. You have 11 games left. Show me there's something left in the tank. It is time to turn the corner, Zips. I'm not waiting until next year. I've been waiting until next year for too long. When Kincade sits in the stands Saturday, I want him excited to enroll in January. Not Tweeting: OMG...#Dukes_me_Pukes. I'll be there Saturday. I'll be as drunk, bloated and obnoxious as I can be. That's my role, and my best means of contributing to a victory. The rest is up the the Zips on the field. #Turnthecornertoday

What is it a play on? Back to the future? Back to the wall? A return to whatever we thought before we all "thought bigger"? Think Bigger made sense. We aspired to elevate the program. Zeke was a 7-footer. "Back to the Zips"? When did we ever leave them?

No mention of whether or not her pants were found. Shoddy journalism.

Lot 9 has the best tailgating, but it is pass-only. If I were you I would bring a cooler to Lot 9 and hang out with a lot of good people. Plenty of food and drink, cornhole, etc. There are bars (BW-3's) directly across Exchange street if that's what you prefer. There is an old UA tailgating thread around somewhere...can someone find it?

Me too. Bet you can't wait for CK's hardtack and rum! Also - Thanks for the write up, gozips19!

Or a botched John Fuller interception.

Memo to Keener: The drink on the left counts towards the beer tally. The drinks on the right do not.

Speaking of history...George O'Leary was 0-12 in his first year at UCF. So put your Drano back underneath the sink people. Paul's historic punting performance rivaled that of the immortal John Stec vs. Ohio State several season-openers ago. Bowden's play-calling was reminiscent of our historically conservative 31-7 loss to Penn State in our season-opener 5 years ago. When your QB is 15-20...for 83 yards...you are being too conservative. When your star RB has 10 carries for 11 yards in the 4th quarter...your OL isn't doing its job. To expect a 1-11 team to compete, on the road, in game #1, with a 10-win UCF team is unrealistic. Too many new faces in Blue and Gold. I expect a big turnaround in this weeks game...we can't have another piece of Zips football history being repeated...**cough cough**...Gardner Webb...**cough**...

I didn't get that impression. I think he's saying he'll coach until he's 70, so if you are in the market to hire a coach in the next couple years, don't worry about his age. He'll be there...wherever "there" might ultimately be...for a decade +. But Bowden departing is a silly conversation to have when he's got an 8.3% winning percentage. We'll save that one for a couple years from now.

86 degrees at kick-off. Dropping to 81 degrees by 10pm. Beats playing in the heat of the day. I think the cramping will be a minimal factor. Unless Carmelo Betancourt suits up. I'd give him 32 seconds before his first leg-cramp.

I hope they all start on the offensive line.

Keener posting at 3:03am on Opening Day in the beer thread? Can anyone envision his living room by 11pm tonight?

Shocking that such a post would come from you?

I wonder if jupitertoo will complain that GT doesn't give this story proper coverage in the ABJ?

Barring injury to Pohl, it seems the smart move would be to redshirt in 2014, get some reps in 2015, and hold the starting job for the next 3 seasons. Makes me wonder what will happen with Woodson. I guess we'll know a lot more once this season is complete. A billion different things can happen between now and 2014.

Anyone wonder where all that weight Bowden lost ended up?

I look forward to the Zips victory lead by CJ Mizell's 14 tackles... and O'Leary's post game presser where he complains if CJ was on the 2-deep he'd have game-planned completely different.

F the future. Isn't everyone tired of the future...don't people want to win football games today? I've never heard a fan complain that his team had too many seniors. Maybe GP1 did...I know he's a big fan of "building" over "winning." And there's no better way to solidify the building process than to play Freshmen and Sophomores. ;)

I'm guessing Bowden doesn't want to carry 2 punters on scholarship, so the Aussie will need to fund himself this season.

I don't know what is a bigger shocker...Rossi starting at middle linebacker over Rachel...or Tyrell Goodman being our back up punter? I wonder if McNamara will eventually work his way into the #1 spot? If not, it bodes well for our line depth.